9.29.2024

Note to AOC: My Evil Plan to Save Democracy: a New Approach to a General Strike

 

My Evil Plan to Save Democracy:  a New Approach to a General Strike

  1. Assassinations don’t work.  There’s always another jackass waiting in line.

  2. Corporate America is already prepared for a work stoppage.

  3. If you are willing to riot, you should be willing to go on a phone diet.

  4. Deleting shopping and social media apps from you phone will be a serious threat to the system (see below).  Burning buildings and cars wouldn’t be.  This time, they are ready for that.  Like the shit Obama pulled in shutting down the Occupy encampments.  No one can make you have an app on your phone.  It is something these masters of the universe can’t control, and no sheriff could force.  

  5. Protect the mission from the “I Like To Lose” Left.  You will know them because they will want to add issues that aren’t concrete and propose solutions that are vague.  There is no “and” here.  It is not “the Supreme Court cannot stop the counting of votes” AND “stop global warming.”  The target has to be specific, immediate and already on the table for a decision to be made.

  6. Don’t wait until AFTER a Supreme Court decision.  Timing is everything.  We have to show them before a final decision that we have the power to take it all down.

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Let Me Paint a Dream

The results of the Presidential election have been thrown to the Supreme Court to decide.  Silicon Valley types are weighing in like the oligarchs they are, and the New York Times is still sane-washing Trump and his human chatbots.  

What none of them know is they don’t hold the power anymore.  They find out.  The entire Silicon Valley/banking system is dependent on one thing:  space on your phone. All this is possible because of vulnerabilities in our current financial system and how the hooker-loving cocaine addicts on Wall Street measure things.

A Killer Formula for a General Strike

I am a real estate vampire. It was through my general trolling for real estate insights that I stumbled on the secret that will take the whole system down.  YouTuber Reventure Consulting made an offhand comment:  all the reporters that write about real estate read the same basic report and write a story off of that.  None of them engage in independent analysis.

It got me to wondering.  How does that happen in the Silicon Valley space?

The Tell with Christine Axsmith is a space to exchange ideas and humor to lift our moods, give us an action plan and give us hope.  Join us.

The Wall Street System

People sit around in expensive suits guessing the future earnings of a company.  They get paid to tell people about it.  If a company doesn’t meet those numbers, its stock price is hurt.  That makes them vulnerable because the guesses are based on certain metrics, and for some companies, it is how many phones have the company’s app installed.

Stock prices, and predictions about stock prices, react to risk and uncertainty.  Investopedia cites uncertainty in profit potential and revenue growth as important factors in determining a stock’s value.

Market price per share and revenue are proven to have a positive relationship, which means they rise and fall together according to research in Discussion of the Factors that Influence the Amazon’s Share Prices by Yi Feng and Xujie Li. The value of a social media or online shopping forum depends on the number of phones that have installed its app:

Customer base and customer database are measured by app installations.

Silicon Valley is desperate for space on our phones.  They track app downloads frantically, and any downturn spawns articles clucking about viability.

The expectations about future earnings will be hurt if lots of people start deleting these apps from their phones because it will create uncertainty about future revenue.  That’s our target: uncertainty about future impulse use of our phones.

“Revenue growth uncertainty”

It doesn’t even have to be actual revenue or profits.  Just increasing the uncertainty around those two numbers will impact the stock price. And that’s what deleting social media and shopping apps from your phone will do.

Share

We are targeting corporate fear of Wall Street uncertainty.  Increase that uncertainty, and those Wall Street guessers will tell everybody a stock value is lower.  Investors being malleable, it will lead to the stock price actually being lower.  It was that fear of uncertainty that led to Amazon firing 18,000 workers recently, according to an Amazon statement:

However, given the uncertain economy in which we reside, and the uncertainty that exists in the near future, we have chosen to be more streamlined in our costs and headcount.

The Pain Point

The singular fight for any online company is for space on your phone.  The number of phones that have a company’s app affects its stock price because of its impact on uncertainty.  

A 2021 study, Fooled in the Relationship: How Amazon Prime Members’ Sense of Self-control Counter-intuitively Reinforces Impulsive Buying Behavior,  shows that Amazon gets a lot of revenue from impulsive purchases, which is accelerated by Amazon Prime membership.  Amazon also depends on impulsive purchasing made possible by its app being installed on your phone.  That availability converts the Amazon app on your phone into revenue.  Taking away the chance to make an impulse purchase on your phone will reduce their revenue.

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But that’s just Amazon.  Any social media company gets revenue from advertising dollars, and closing the viewing window by deleting their app from your phone will hurt expected revenues.

Market price per share and revenue are proven to have a positive relationship, which means they rise and fall together according to Discussion of the Factors that Influence the Amazon’s Share Prices by Yi Feng and Xujie Li.

Good news.  You control the apps installed on your phone.  

If users banded together for one issue, we would win.  It would only take deleting the shopping and social media apps for one day a week from your phone, times thousands, to cause Wall Street panic.  The downloading and retention statistics relied on for stock valuation would become meaningless.

The Tina Turner School of Negotiation

This tactic only works using the Tina Turner school of negotiation.  

Tina Turner was divorcing her violent, controlling husband, Ike Turner.  She only asked the court for one thing in the divorce settlement:  her stage name.  With all the money she earned, all the assets she contributed to the marriage, she only wanted one thing: the ability to continue her singing career.  She refused to compromise on it.  Her tactic made her chances of getting what she wanted much more likely because she wasn’t fighting any other item.

Share

Unity gives us power.  Violence and rioting does the opposite.  

That external pressure would put power back in our hands by threatening stock valuations.  It’s another way of majority rule.  You know, since we lost the other one.

Are you ready?  Let’s go.

I want to thank you for reading this far.  Recently my Wikipedia page was deleted because I was no longer “a person of continued interest.”  They’re probably right.  But I want to assure you that this page, and this blog, will not be deleted by me.  

The Tell with Christine Axsmith wants YOU for the revolution.  Sign up today.




2.19.2024

Note to AGNÈS CALLAMARD on article Gaza and the End of the Rules-Based Order

Note to AGNÈS CALLAMARD on article Gaza and the End of the Rules-Based Order

Appreciated your comments in Foreign Affairs about Gaza.  Excellent analysis, until the end of the article.  I am reading How Terrorism Ends by Audrey Kurth Cronin and it provides insight into, well, how terrorism ends.

A rules-based order is a valuable tool for creating a standard that is applicable evenly and to all.  But it is not going to stop a terror group, nor help in bringing them to the negotiating table.  It is also not going to stop Israeli overreaction.

You can't just insist on a ceasefire.  You must negotiate your way there. 

"For all parties, negotiations may be a type of interaction that is seamlessly connected to more violent forms.  To expect the opening of talks to mean the instant cessation of violence is naive and sets up expectations among the broader population that are counterproductive." (How Terrorism Ends, p.37)

and 

"Ceasefires are difficult to negotiate if one side has little else besides its ability to strike." (How Terrorism Ends, p.40) 

Israel and the Palestinians are not the only ones in this conflict.  Condemning either one without addressing the others in the room is essentially just talking to yourself. Yes, it would be great if both parties would agree to a ceasefire.  They aren't and they won't.  Pointing at the rules won't bring them there.

Saudi Arabia and Iran

Hamas' attack on October 7th was directly related to the Israel/Saudi Arabia agreement to open up ties.  Any proposed ceasefire that doesn't include Saudi Arabia and Iran will not happen.  

The United States made the same error in the 90s while attempting to negotiate a political solution during the breakup of Yugoslavia, where the Serbs were not integrated into the plan.  The result was extreme violence.

There are so many parties involved in the Gaza conflict, asking for symptoms of the problem to just stop isn't realistic.  It certainly isn't effective.

I have yet to see a chart of all the players related to the Gaza conflict and how they are connected.  Better minds than mine can do that.  But acknowledging them and their role in the conflict is essential to start to talk about a ceasefire.

Because we all know what happens when one of them doesn't feel heard.




6.18.2023

Note to Cornel West - America is Already Great - we just need to be fed

Identity matters.   Economic blame, even deserved blame, just won't win on its own.

How are you giving people an identity that can unify us as Americans?

Make America Great Again?  America is already great - we just need to be fed.  

We've created this machine based on fear.  It is hungry, and never has enough.

It's time to feed ourselves - no more expensive toys of death until our bridges stop collapsing, until every child is well-fed and strong - in body and mind.  Until we own our own water and soil.  Until there are no more homeless veterans.  Until there is hope again.

Make America Great Again?  WE are the strength of this nation.  The real America that's been overlooked and taken for granted.  No more.  Let them hear you, brothers and sisters.  Register to vote.  That alone scares the thieves of your tax dollars - who will always find a new way to buy killing machines from their friends.  And feed your children into it.

Every Veteran should have a home, free college, and free healthcare.  At least let them buy into Social Security at cost.  Is that too much to ask?  What do you think?

Let childbirth be free.  And the feeding and health of that young American for five years.  You want more babies?  You'll get more babies.  Strong, healthy ones for a strong, healthy America.
Join me, brothers and sisters.  Let's show them how great we are.

Make America Great again?  We are already great.  We just need to listen to the people who made her that way.

America is great.  Again.

5.28.2023

The "BRICS IS Cringe" Video by Laowhy86




BRICS is Cringe Video Recap

(forgive the formatting mess)

YouTube's laowhy86 lays out an interesting case for not worrying about BRICS overtaking the G7.  It has some flaws, but here's a recap:
  • The BRICS countries all hate eat other.  
  • China and India are practically at war.
His thoughts on China:

Regular power outages
High unemployment rates in China
You can't get your money out of China
Massive corporate moves out of China
Lots of government ownership of companies
Huge levels of debt
Trade war with the U.S.
Housing market has collapsed
Banks are not paying loans to people despite protests
The white paper protests 

His thoughts on Russia:
Russia's economy hurt by sanctions, they are not an economic powerhouse
Economy is smaller than either Texas or New York State
Military death tolls is higher than Afghanistan

His thoughts on Brazil:

laowhy86 doesn't like Brazil's current leader Lula
Talks about currency merge with Argentina
New unpredictable leadership counter to what made Brazil great 

His thoughts on India:
India doesn't need BRICS
Balancing traditional support for Russia with increasing capitalist and nationalist policies

His thoughts on South Africa:
Corruption
Power outages
  • BRICS Currency Union would be based on gold - which is traded in dollars and most countries store their gold in NY Federal Reserve's vault
  • Every one of the BRICS countries has different goals
  • Common monetary policy means same interest rates
  • Where will the central monetary bank be located?
  • Which country will have the biggest vote on monetary matters?
  • How much foreign currency trade could actually replace the dollar?

Why Are We Hearing So Much About BRICS?  He thinks it's because most of the BRICS countries are in bad shape.  

"BRICS is Cringe" Analysis

A lot of items on laowhy86's list could apply to the United States, although not in the same degree.  I get his point, though.  Beating the "American is horrible" drum is a popular pastime for Americans who have never seen what horrible actually looks like.  In themselves, high unemployment, high levels of debt, trade wars and military death tolls do not equal a soon-to-be-failing state. 

A few of his points are valid and deserve further discussion.

Liquidity

If you can't get to your money, or convert it into something spendable where you live, then it's like a gift to the people who have it.  If you make a fortune but can't spend it, you have earned nothing.  

Currency conversion is essential for wealth created in one place to be spent somewhere else. The harder it is to convert your BRICS-a-roni to Euro, the less value the currency will have.

Chinese limits on transferring wealth out directly impacts the liquidity of its currency, and by extension, the currency liquidity of BRICS. 

Corporations Moving Out of China

Brazil has lots of international corporations manufacturing products there.  That doesn't seem to be changing despite laowhy86's disapproval of Brazil's current leader, Lula.  I won't even start with that topic.  It is enough to say he isn't pointing to any concrete examples of businesses abandoning Brazil.

China is a different story.  Corporations are leaving China for other Asian countries, leading to unemployment and less need for China's currency.  That's a big deal in terms of providing the liquidity needed for a reserve currency that replaces the dollar.  So, no worries for America there.

The U.S. Navy

I never hear economic analyses that mention shipping trade routes.  See, all these products manufactured all over the world need to arrive safely on ships.  Those shipping lanes need to be safe.  They are kept safe by the U.S. Navy.

The Chinese navy, the Brazilian navy, the Russian navy, the South African navy and the Indian  navy cannot protect the international shipping lanes.  Only the U.S. can do that.  More than anything else, that is why the United States' dollar is the reserve currency.  Because global trade needs us.

Gold

The United States keeps gold reserves safe for many countries by guarding it in the United States.  If you want to get the gold in your hands, you will have to invade.  Enough said.

Final Thoughts on BRICS Ascendant Messaging

Every few years we hear the same fodder:  America is failing, other countries are taking over, America is in decline.  The message takes various forms:  civil liberties are under attack, our "way of life" is under attack, other countries don't respect us anymore, the United States has done terrible things, etc.  I think the American character has a strong self-flagellation streak inherited from the Puritans.  

When a wide variety of media outlets are trending the same message, you have to be suspicious.  When they are repeatedly recycling that message and are always wrong, you have to be dubious.  When they've got nothing good to say, turn it off.

See, flowers and manure go together.  If there's not one good thing in what you're saying, you are not credible.










9.12.2021

Glenn Greenwald and the American Left

In the one corner, we have TYT and its satellites, and The Intercept and others.

In the other corner, we have Glenn Greenwald, Aaron Mate,Chris Hedges and Jimmy Dore.

There’s a war brewing folks, and it is a championship fight.

You see, some writers go on Fox News, some refuse, and still others are never asked.

Now Chelsea Manning is weighing in, the welterweight champion, to smack-talk Glenn Greenwald.  The crowd goes wild!  Fights break out in the stands.  The audience is attacking one another over this surprise development, sports fans.  And you are here to see it live!  What a show!

If the deep state could ever be given credit for such original thinking, this would be its dream.  The truth-telling critics of America at each other’s throats over stupid nonsense nobody really cares about.  Meanwhile, too late on that global warming thing.  Pandemic safety has to be weighed against rising suicides and homicides.  Not one, but two governors have killed hundreds of their own citizens. 

As long as everyone’s reliable rabble-rousers are pitted against each other in service to an algorithm, they neglect the America they claim to champion.

Glenn Greenwald is a powerhouse of a journalist who will command attention for a long time to come.  Yes, he is abrasive and obnoxious.  His former coworkers seem to hate him.  None of that matters.  His detractors would do well to realize that they should learn from him, because he isn’t going anywhere.  All the sniping is going to do is show everyone how little your opinion means in the marketplace.  He built his own base and doesn't need traditional media platforms.

Aaron Mate actually went to Syria to report on it.  How else are you supposed to report on something?  The TYT model relies on comments on the reporting of others, often by comedians.  There is no substitute for doing the footwork on the ground.  None.  That reality does not mean TYT and The Grey Zone need to be at odds.  They inhabit different places in the information ecosystem, that’s all.  Calm down, already.

TYT analyzes other people’s headlines.  They do it well, and Cenk offers excellent insights as someone who has actually run for Congress and has mainstream media experience.  TYT is a giant highlighter in an ocean of information.  TYT has also successfully organized massive numbers of people and given a platform to rising progressive voices.  That’s creating a powerful base, and much needed on the left. It is not enough to bitch and moan, you need to organize.  TYT has done an outstanding job of organizing, whatever you think of Cenk.  And they have a real nose for talent, even if there is a falling-out eventually.  In the end, it will be TYT that has a lasting political legacy.

The Intercept does great work post-Greenwald.  Now this is the group I can understand hating on Greenwald the most.  He got them all started on their current gig, and it seems there is a little resentment and jealousy there.  The Intercept, as a whole, made the decision to back away from harsh lighting on Democratic politicians.  “They are captives to fears about what people on twitter would say, what their friends and colleagues would say,” explained Glenn Greenwald on Rising with Krystal and Saagar.  So when their founder wouldn’t hold back his reporting, he was forced out of The Intercept.

Each group has a place and a role.  Each does its job well.  This hate-fest just hurts the left. 

Seriously, can’t you just focus on your own role?  All of you? 

A cognitive neuroscientist on The David Pakman Show framed current extreme politics as part of the  reaction to pandemic-related fear.  The right’s reaction is obvious: refusing to wear masks or get vaccines, attacking immigrants, telling old people just to die for the economy.  David Pakman was trying to understand why the right was behaving so badly as compared to the people on the left, in his eyes.  Several times, the neuroscientist had to direct Pakman’s attention to the Black Lives Matter protests as the left's reaction to the same fear.  Then the right reacted to Black Lives Matter with Blue Lives Matter, and the left started with Defund the Police as a reaction to that.  

No mention of our current leftist squabbling, but it could explain the deranged attacks on near-allies within the American left.  So far, the bickering has included blackmail threats, name-calling and criminal accusations.  

It is hard to get a clear idea of what is happening when in the middle of it, let alone why.  One thing is clear.  These childish attacks are very emotional and are gutting the effectiveness of the American left.  The energy spent on pettiness could be put to good use.  Right now, it isn't.

 

 

 

 

8.18.2021

Career Advice for the Spurned Spy

When you send people a message on LinkedIn, do they delete their profile?

Are you getting spit at in Costco parking lots?


Got a long list of former friends?


You may not be an anti-torture whistleblower, but you are in the same boat as I am.  Welcome!  It can be fun being a pariah.


I rather impetuously (and obviously, I thought) declared: "Waterboarding is Torture, and Torture is Wrong" on an internal intelligence community forum in 2006.  So I can't quite say I know what you are going through, as you might not have the benefit of moral clarity. But the results are the same.  Relax. You have plenty of options!


Consider dog walking for a future career.  You will get in great shape, and dogs don't read the Washington Post.  Just don't mention splitting up families.  It's a bit of a sore subject.


You can use your sharp analytical and observational skills as an advocate for the homeless.  There's nothing like walking up and down H Street looking for an MIA client.  Or phoning all the emergency rooms asking about a John Doe.  Or having the police called on you because you asked a client to wear shoes outside.


There's also the option of becoming an intelligence expert on TV commentary shows - God knows there are no standards for that.  The trick is to give ready opinions on anything in fewer than 30 words.  Teen girls running away to ISIS?  Put them in cages, too!  Free babysitting for the other ones.  Talk about public/private partnership.  Another idea is expressing outrage that you were promised a taco truck on every corner, and yours still hasn't arrived.  Damn Democrats!  Or that Bolivia's 19-year-old vice minister of sports doesn't have a degree.  Let's invade!  You could feed on this for a long time.


Finally, there's always the handy changing-your-identity trick, and pretending you just woke from a four-year coma.  I'm sure you could sell it.  After all, who would want to remember?


Christine Axsmith, a middle-aged woman of no particular accomplishment, is a comic book series creator and co-creator for Superheroes.cool and failed standup comedian.  Oh, and she is happy and fulfilled.

8.17.2021

On Leaving Afghanistan

The wailing and moaning about our retreat from Afghanistan shows the victory of images over thought.  After one trillion dollars and twenty years, our work there has come to nothing.  And that nothing describes the level of thought from most reporters, who can only compare pictures of the US withdrawal from Vietnam from their childhoods with what they see now, and declare our troop withdrawal a failure.


Afghanistan Map
On Leaving Afghanistan

National Public Radio drips with stories about the plight of Afghan women and people who like to read who are now ruled by the Taliban.  It’s sympathetic, really.  But if they aren’t willing to fight for their freedom, why should we?  The Afghan military and political leaders raced out of their country within a day.  After twenty years of blood and gold, none of them had enough courage to fight for even themselves, let alone their country.


President Joe Biden deserves credit for making the bold and risky decision to withdraw troops from Afghanistan.  It was always going to be messy.  He knew that.  Even former President Trump thought the US should leave Afghanistan, and many Americans agreed with him, as did Obama before him.  Biden is successfully wrestling with our military leaders, who are very invested in the US remaining there.  


President Joe Biden successfully managed to do what two previous Presidents wanted to do, but couldn’t.  He is willing to take the criticism and stand by this decision despite the leaks and complaints aired against him.


The American taxpayer funded a corrupt military exercise in a corrupt country run by a Department of Defense that can’t even pass an audit.  No wait, they can’t even do an audit.  No one knows where all the money went.  Not just in Afghanistan, but anywhere in the entire Defense Department.  


Afghanistan is known as the graveyard of empires.  The United States lasted longer than most, achieved the objective of routing the group responsible for the 9-11 terror attack, and is leaving after another, very expensive, lesson.  

6.23.2021

Confessions of an Eco-Tourist - Aunt Christine Sails the Black River of the Amazon

 



Why I wrote the book



I wrote this book because I didn’t want to forget all the details of my trip to the Amazon.  And I didn’t want to keep telling the same stories over and over again to people who asked how it was.  Now I can hand them this book.


I wrote this book to remind my family and me years from now what the Amazon used to be like before big corporate hotel chains and logging companies had their way with it.  I thought I’d get there before they pave it.


I wanted to create a growing book for my niece and nephew to entertain them as they get older. 


Exploring the jungle and canoeing in water so high that you can touch the treetops has been a dream of mine since I first heard about rainy seasons and rain forests in grade school.  My whole life I have wanted to float down a magical river where I could reach out and touch the tops of trees.  Being there was like appearing in a documentary that opened up and took me in.  In this book, I wanted to pass a little of that feeling along to my reader.


The Amazon


The Black River in the Amazon is a really big river in Brazil.  Like BIG.

In South America it rains a lot for part of the year, and the Black River gets bigger, about 14 miles across.  In the dry season, it is about 10 miles across.  All that rainfall stays in the Amazon Valley because the height of the Andes Mountains keeps the clouds from carrying the moisture to the western side of South America.  But only the top few inches of the valley is soil.  Underneath that is sand.  If it wasn’t for the height of the Andes Mountains, the Amazon forest would be a desert.  The idea that this is fertile land waiting to be cultivated is a myth.  In fact, the Amazon valley has been ocean floor several times.  


I stayed on a tributary to the Amazon River called the Black River, or the Rio Negro in Spanish, because the water is so dark that it is almost black.  In fact, it looks a lot like tea without cream in it.  






Food


I enjoyed a sushi dinner at the airport in a last hurrah to food safe to eat.  There were strict warnings about the acceptable diet for Brazil.  No seafood, no milk, no unpeeled fruit or vegetables, eat only cooked food, and then only if it was still hot when it was placed in front of you.  The upshot of this is that there was no escape from the jungle heat through comfort food.  Now I understand what previous generations meant by ‘people who lost their minds in the jungle.’  If I was in that heat for a month, with the food making me sick and the heat and not one familiar plant, it could happen to me.  Maybe it already has. 



When I ran across a McDonald’s in a mall in Manaus, Brazil, I eagerly ran to it and ordered a burger and fries.  It’s hard to appreciate here, but that is one place where the food is always safe no matter where you are in the world.


I also packed a large bottle of Gatorade for almost every day of my trip and some anti-bacterial soap at the behest of my mother.  Good old Mom was prophetic once again.  I developed a small infection on my big toe in the jungle.  In the US, it would be nothing but a slight redness on the side of the toenail, but in the jungle it became swollen and throbbing.  The soap I took to appease Mom came in handy then.  Eventually the big toe scare died down, the ramifications could have been serious.  I could see the Foreign Service officer at the embassy telling my parents that a virulent toe infection caused my doom.  I’m sure it happens all the time, and in that jungle heat, you really start to believe it.  Even the diseases are more alive.


Traveling


I didn’t realize that my last hurrah to American food was also a last hurrah to airports as I knew them.  People were wandering around, no armed guards were visible.  The people working the X-ray machines acted out their class resentments in the usual surly manner.  It was scary going to Brazil, let alone the Amazon, alone.  Suddenly, all sorts of minor decisions took on the significance of the last round of the World Open Chess tournament.  I was puzzled and confused.  What should I do next?  Am I in the wrong place?  I was seized with a conviction that I must immediately RUN to the other end of the terminal, and yet I was frozen in place.  On baggage security guard signaled me over.  “Give me your bag.”  I complied.  She gave directions to the proper gate, while pretending to do an in-depth search of my carry-on luggage.  “We’re not supposed to help people like that.  We are only supposed to check bags.”  I had mistakenly dashed from terminal to terminal looking for my flight, never noticing the steak knives or the lemons being sliced before my very eyes.


After the airplane, I sailed in a boat for three hours away from the city into the jungle.






At the dock, the boat was loaded with passengers.  A bunch of Texans who suddenly realized – yes, I am going into the Amazon jungle.  They were all salespeople for some computer company who were the highest sellers in the country.  As a prize, there win a surprise trip to somewhere exotic.  This year was the Amazon.  You could see the realization sink in.  They dashed into the convenience store at the dock and grabbed handfuls of candy and armloads of beer.  The clerk tried hard to keep a placid face.   The rank puzzlement of the Brazilians was openly displayed as the candy bars began to cover each other in piles on the counter.  Man cannot live by chocolate alone, however, and there was a commensurate amount of beer to accompany them.  Munching and slurping were not entertainment enough it seems.  

“Hey, anybody up for a quick round of poker?”

“Yeah.
”Yeah.”

“Yeah.”

“What can we play on?”

“How about this thing?” the man thumped some protrusion of the ship.

“Yeah.”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah.”


And so they began.  As we puttered deep into the jungle on the wide, dark water, perhaps the vicious beasts of the forest were alerted to us by ceaseless pointless jokes and the very loud rankling.  All I know is they didn’t attack.


Imagine – sailing into the unknown and exotic to experience untouched wilderness, danger, and excitement.  These trees may become extinct.  In ten years the ecosystem may have collapsed.  All that will be left are documentaries and tourist brochures.  But how could that compete with popping a brewski and winning a few dollars on a card game?


Our guide sang disco songs as the boat pulled up to the dock at the hotel.  Local legend has it that fresh water dolphins swim around the hotel during the rainy season will come to greet you if you sing to them.  So we all sang a Gloria Gainer song as our boat glided alongside the dock.

Monkeys!!





Monkeys were everywhere.  They crawled all over the place.  You have to keep an eye on your belongings, as I found out when the monkeys stole my cookies.  Then they took my water bottle.  It gave a real feeling to the place.  Scores of monkeys lounged on the deck, on the tables, in the trees.  They chased each other and jumped on people lying in hammocks.




Look!  Aunt Christine climbs a vine, just like a monkey!


The vine I’m climbing is called a ‘monkey ladder’ by local Indians.  The monkeys use it to escape being killed by the jaguar.  Since the jaguar can climb a tree as fast as a monkey, the monkeys use this vine because they can climb it faster than the jaguar.  Three or more monkeys will climb down the monkey ladder to look for food.  One of the monkeys will be on the lookout for the jaguar.  If a monkey sees a jaguar, a shout will warn the other monkeys of the danger and they will all run up the monkey ladder to escape death.


The jungle is a dangerous place.  You don’t realize how dangerous until you are there.  There is no such thing as animals peaceably hanging out.  Each creature has to fight for its life daily.  You don’t think of monkeys and their lives of danger.  So much can kill in the jungle.  A person couldn’t sleep on the ground.  How did the first human inhabitants figure that out?  How long before they invented the hammock?  The Amazon Indians are short and slight.  All the big ones, who would be slower and require more energy to live, were phased out of the gene pool.And Birds!!



There were plenty of exotic jungle birds, too.  The hotel puts out food to encourage the birds to hang around.  They strategically placed the catwalks so the birds could eat in peace, away from pesky tourists.


The Rio Negro


The water is very dark, and piranhas and Anaconda snakes live in the water along with weird amoebas that swim up your urinary tract.  If you put your hand in the river up to your elbow, you will barely be able to see your hand. 


This dark river water results from dry leaves mixing with river water heated by the sun to form a sort of tea.  A few miles from the location of the photo above the Black River will merge with the Amazon River and the two will be visibly different colors for eight miles, although they share the same river bed.  The Black River moves more slowly than the Amazon and the waters don’t mix for eight miles.





The darker water is highly acidic, keeping down the local mosquito population and the incidence of malaria.  The Brazilian government has taken steps on behalf of the health of the local Indians.  There hasn’t been a case of malaria in that part of the jungle for six years.



Jungle Walk


For the jungle you wear long pants and hiking shoes to ward off the mosquitoes and other bugs.  I wore a long-sleeved cotton shirt and a hat to prevent sun poisoning.  


To the annoyance of the rest of my expedition, I also used a cheap umbrella as a parasol.  Drifting in the canoe with my parasol and generally irritating those around me, I felt very much like Katherine Hepburn in “African Queen.” 

 

Of course in my excitement to prevent skin cancer, I used a lot of sun lotion, which leaked into my eyes when I sweated.  Then it looked like I was crying just in time to meet the canoe maker in the village.  Naturally I did the same thing again the next day.





We looked at trees that are used as medicine.  The tree bark of native Amazon trees is used in making Pine Sol and Vicks VapoRub, and in fact was ‘discovered’ in the Nineteenth century.  This fact about healing was learned by European explorers stomping through the jungle from the natives.  The sap from the trees provided healing properties and they took the roots and made a business from it.  The entire story reminds me of movies whose plot details how the cure for cancer or AIDS is dying right now in the jungles that are being savagely cut down by evil corporate interests.  



Spider Lady


A local young woman ran the hotel’s museum of dead dried creatures from this area of the rainforest.  It was only a small room with cases of dead piranha and spiders and bugs.  I didn’t really hang out there.  I guess the purpose of the display was so all of us eco-tourists could tell stories later of the large spiders we saw even though they were dead.  We could then snort with derision at untimely roaches making appearances at fundraising cocktail parties.  “Oh, is that it?  I became immune to such things in the Amazon,” and we urbanely finish off our scotch and change the subject before being asked for too many details.


The management of the Jungle Lodge certainly chose the right woman to stand watch over the insects and arachnids in the display case.  Her affinity for deadly spiders was compelling.  Her space was an unofficial healing place for big hairy tarantulas.  You had to look closely, though, to see the patients crawling on the ceilings and the floors. The spiders hid in the corners of the display room that showcased their dead brethren.  I wonder how they felt about that?  Several of them had pieces of legs missing.  She had names for them.  Spider Lady rescued the injured spiders, fed them, and generally nursed them back to health.  Maybe so they could bite one of the guests.  She was a cold woman.  When they were strong enough, she let them loose into the jungle again.  I wonder how many come back to visit?


“People think they are mean, but I don’t think so.  To me, they are nice.  They are my friends,” she explained to me.


Completely unaware that all the furry spiders in the room were not dead, ecotourists from many lands tapped at the glass cases.  Spider Lady answered their questions politely.  She works every day for a few weeks and then gets about a week off.  She likes it.


The Village


We stopped at an Indian village.  One of the Indians makes canoes out of trunks of jungle trees.  He is a famous canoe maker and people buy his canoes from very far away.


Village children are taught jungle survival skills from early childhood.  A six-year-old from the local tribe could survive alone in the jungle for a few days.  There is so much to know:  which plants are poisonous, where to sleep to be safe from snakes, what plants act as a balm, what animals are edible and which ones will eat you;  the list of necessary information a small child must know is as formidable as it is critical.  On our canoe rides on the river, we could see little children diving for fish in the river.  They are taught to swim as soon at they can walk.






The economic dynamics of eco-tourism are pushing the natives towards a career in kitsch.  Small and obviously fake trinkets were on display as samples of the native craft.  “Come, look, the villagers make crafts.”  Our guide was very invested in the fate of the villagers.  He was a wild jungle boy himself before the Jesuits educated him.  So he relates to them and is just a little annoyed at the tourists who point and stare, much as he is dependent on them.


The villagers are fourth-generation descendants of native Indian, Dutch, and English people.  After the American Civil War, some unhappy southerners came to the Amazon to settle also.  Slavery was still legal in Brazil.  Most left rather quickly.  


The hotel is teaching the local Indians English to eventually hire them as guides for tours.  Our guide takes credit for starting this program and goes to the village several nights a week to teach.

 

My tour group featured some soon-to-be MBAs from MIT who immediately began talking about case studies and economic models.  Bastardization of a culture didn’t enter into the discussion.  

“I guess we could make a business case study,” they chortled to one another.

“Here is the supply chain.”  The boat maker ignored all of us.

“And this would be the economic model.”  

In all the analysis, none of them saw what was really going on.  The culture was on display as a freak show for the tourists to pretend that they got an authentic display of ‘life in the jungle.’”


Many of the workers at the jungle hotel, and there were lots of them, were from the local jungle villages.  The success of the hotel has been a boon to the living standards of the local Indians.  Our guide encouraged the Indians in tourist trade, and encouraged us to buy from them.  He was a one-man economic development machine for the locals.  It was clear that he felt we could easily be parted from our money, and was going to show the villagers how to do it.  In other parts of the world, I would suspect that he was getting a kickback, but not this guy.  He was a true believer.  At every stop in the village, the seeds of his personal economic program could be seen:  trinkets in a tent beside the river, the mud huts the Indians lived in, a bar in the center the village that sold water with a toilet that was a hole in the ground, and toothless men sitting at broken tables.  The guide was determined that the local population would reap some of the money made on their culture, land and cache.  So the tour was peppered with stops at the local village to buy hand-crafted trinkets that didn’t presume much authenticity.  Everyone knew it.  But we equally saw the mud huts, bare feet and poverty.  So we bought stuff.  I shudder to think what a little marketing sophistication will add. It will become like the American side of Niagara Falls.


On the first night of my stay, the guide assigned to our group told us of a rare opportunity to watch a jungle tribe’s ceremony celebrating the killing of a jungle animal in the hunt.  For a small fee, we could watch this ceremony.  I declined, but everyone else went.  My stay at the Jungle Lodge was four days and the average stay was two days.  So the rest of my tour group had completely changed when  - what do you know – there was ANOTHER jungle tribe ceremony.  Another beast had been caught in the jungle!  This must be a regular racket.  Not that I resented it.  One look at the insufferable poverty they were living in cured that.  I am sure that it is only the beginning of an empire.  I wonder if any of them feel like throwing up afterwards?


The houses are built on stilts to avoid the high water in the rainy season.  Their clothes, when they were wearing them, were tattered cast-offs from other places that never knew this humidity.  They swam in the dangerous water to catch fish, risking piranha fish bites, vicious little organisms that attack the urinary tract, and just plain drowning.  No one was overweight.








The hotel paid for a village nurse whose supplies were aspirin, bandages, ointment for rashes and saline water.  With my eyes watering from melting sun block, the guide took me to her.  She really only had a first aid understanding of health and proceeded to almost stick her fingers in my eyes.  The guide was very insistent that we go to her so that I can get healed by the local village nurse.  “See” he said, “She heals you with the medicine of the jungle.”  

I read an old book written by a 19th-century adventurer named James Orton.  He described the local population of the area I visited in not very glowing terms.  “The Andes and Amazonas,” published just after the U.S. Civil War.  He declared the Amazonian Indians surrounding Manaus, the nearest city, as lazy and insolent and altogether unfit for work.  He described an incident which is amusing for his misunderstanding of it.  He and an American friend were suffering in the shade and oppressive humidity, sitting in chairs.  His friend called to one of the local Indians and the man didn’t come over.  His friend continued and eventually the Indian came.  The American told the Indian to get him some water and he would give him fifty cents.  The Indian replied that he had a better idea.  “You get me some water and I’ll pay you a dollar,” said the Indian.  The rest of the paragraph chortles about how this poor Indian didn’t have a dollar and how the local population was not only incapable of work, but also of understanding basic economics.







The village has a church built by missionaries.  In fact, every single tribe in the Amazon has at least one team of missionaries associated with it, and often more than one.  So the Amazon is teeming with people helping the Indians.  Sometimes there are more missionaries than people in the tribe they are trying to help.  


The major religions represented are the Assembly of God, the Mormons, and some Catholic nuns.  When I was back in the city, Manaus, a tour guide told me that he would want to be a Mormon missionary because many of them are pretty young women.




Pyramids and Space Aliens



For reasons I will not go into here, I have a sneaking feeling there is intelligent life on other planets.  And, yes, from time to time they drop by.  Wouldn’t you?  “I wonder what those hairless monkeys are doing now” they must ask each other, while making bets on when we will lose the evolutionary battle with the roaches. 


I am not alone in this feeling, it seems.  The owner of the Jungle Lodge Hotel has built no less than a landing pad for our intergalactic visitors and a vine-covered pyramid adjoining it.







The space alien landing pad has the infinity sign in the middle, with greetings written in four languages.  How can the creator of this monument be sure that it is not instead a declaration of war to our intergalactic visitors?  We certainly will lose to the roaches if we offend them too much.  Suppose these beings believe that several centuries of protocol must precede a greeting?  The presumption of a greeting written before actual introductions could be seen as highly aggressive.  


If we take the leap in accepting that there are alien visitors we must also accept their superiority in commanding and harnessing the elements.  Put another way, when’s the last time any of us visited them?  Then we are immediately faced with a power imbalance not in our favor with an entity who may or may not have our best interests at heart.  Or maybe they do but their idea of that is the European colonialism of the 17th, 18th and 19th centuries.  About the worst we could get are more powerful adversaries as bad as ourselves.


Underneath this “friendly space alien” logic is a fatal pessimism about humanity I can’t quite shake.  Are we that bad?  Of course we are, but that’s not the whole story.  Is there so little to redeem us that a crap shoot with space aliens offers more hope?  No.  Humanity is a collection of evolving beasts.  We are growing, one Black Plague and Truth and Reconciliation Commission at a time.  We are inherently self-interested.  The evolution of our evil ways is necessary to survival.  If there’s one thing that gets us to move it’s that.  Our philosophies and theories will bend to accommodate, and later our practices.  Can you imagine Genghis Khan being captured and dragged to The Hague to account for his war crimes?  Or Alexander the Great? 





The pyramid was the one place where air conditioning didn’t cost extra, and so it was there I spent my early afternoons.  It was a great place for meditation and reflection.  The idea of air conditioning in Brazil differs from the US.  There, the goal is forestalling heat stroke.  Here, we recreate Fall indoors.


Curiosity-seekers came and went in the pyramid.  Few stayed since adults could not stand up inside it, except in the very center.  The Amazon is a great place to go to be utterly disconnected from anything familiar and comforting.  Any home base of safety outside of oneself is removed.  No T.V., no newspapers, no familiar food.  Then you are forced to look inside.  How am I safe?  Why am I here?  Why are you here eating my sandwich?  It goes on and on.  


Specifically, what on Earth would possess me to go to some of the most dangerous wilderness in the world?  And spend good money to do it?  So the pyramid is an area of disconnectedness within a geography of disconnectedness.  The inside of the pyramid under the heat of the Amazon sun was a room with white glowing walls and gentle chimes as musical backdrop.  “Why am I here in the Amazon?” leads naturally to “why am I here on Earth?” as opposed to Alpha Centari, I suppose.  The inside of the pyramid was as familiar as a space pod from a sci-fi movie.  The familiarity served as my link to the world and life I knew.  


Deep Waters



In the rainy season, the water gets so high the river water gets near the tops of trees.  And if you are in a boat, you can sail around and touch the tree tops.     






Jungle Hut


Aunt Christine stayed in a jungle hut with no phone, no T.V., no air conditioning, no hot water, and one dim light bulb.  This is what the hut looked like.





It was hot like I’ve never felt hot before.  And that includes the Saudi desert.  I felt my skin every minute.  And no flip flips or open toed shoes.  The spiders on the catwalks were dangerous.  Strange and deadly animals ate from the bird feeders.  In our culture we are so used to being insulated from our own stupidity.  Not every country lets people sue at the drop of a hat. The whole jungle hotel was on stilts because it was the rainy season and the water was very high.  All the buildings were connected by catwalks like these.







Dark water was high on either side of the catwalks because it was Winter and the rainy season.  If someone fell into it, they would not be found until the waters receded in Spring.  Catwalks connected the various huts that comprised the hotel complex.  Once I was startled on the catwalks to see an Indian woman with a small child, holding her hand.  It was then that I realized that I hadn’t seen a child since I got there.  Of course it would be too dangerous to let any child run around since there were so many deadly creatures.






My Brush With Death


The thing about being in the jungle is that the jungle is with you.  So all of the fun - and mean - creatures don’t know about keeping a respectful distance.  My brush with death was something I was made aware of hours after the mortal danger passed.


In the early hours of the morning I was awake before anyone else.  Having accepted my place in the universe at that moment as being irretrievable in the Amazon jungle, I decided to brandish my acceptance of this fact and walk around the catwalks to observe the jungle waking up.  I took my camera and saw monkeys and birds and even spiders.  I took pictures of the monkeys, even though the flash upset them.  It was in those pre-dawn hours that I almost lost my life.


I was walking through one of the huts in the early morning hour and paused before going on to the catwalk.  I saw four animals I didn’t recognize.  They were the size of muskrats and had rings on their tails.  I weighed the situation.  Here I am in a wild that I do not know.  That alone is an unusual position to be in because I was raised in the Appalachian Mountains and grew up learning the animals and plants around me.  Part of all that was how to track animals through the woods.  But I immediately recognized that relying on my previous experience wouldn’t work in this context.  So I decided to be cautious and wait for the creatures to crawl away.  One by one, they climbed up into the trees.  When the last one was about to climb into the branches of a tree I decided I had had enough of caution.  I was feeling silly anyway.  So I opened the screen door and started on the catwalk.  Only when I was fully outside did I see another one of these creatures on the rail of the catwalk.  I froze.


The beast looked at me and I at it.  Our gazes didn’t move.  Then I got the strange feeling that this jungle creature was saying to itself, “Nah, I’m not going to bother.”  I held my breath and decided to dash past it, and I did.


Later that morning, our guide pointed out the same animals.  “Stay away from them.  They are very dangerous.”


Only about half the group paid attention.  The guide had our boat stopped and he repeated his warning, louder and little angry.  “Don’t get near these things,” he said again.  “They are very dangerous.  They can jump far and when they attack humans they bite the throat with very powerful teeth.  You have to break their jaw to get them to let go.  By then, the person is dead.”  I told him I saw four of them earlier in the day, and relayed the details, including how I ran past the last one.  At that part, he rolled his eyes.  “It is sudden movement that causes them to attack,” he told me.  Then he turned to the other locals in the boat and repeated what I had said.  They all shook their heads.


So that stupid animal really did decide it wasn’t worth its time to kill me.


Crocodile!



At night, we went crocodile spotting.  In a motorized canoe, which was the only means of transport out of the hotel, a guide would show us where the crocodiles lived.  They shone a spotlight over the water and we could see the gleaming of the crocodiles’ eyes.  Their eyes reflected light like a cat’s would and we could see them 35 yards away.  Then the guides paddled us to where we saw the reptiles and turned the spotlight into the water.  The night was very dark because there were no artificial lights anywhere.  Only the moon and the stars.  To get to this crocodile spot, we had to canoe through the “flooded forest” where we had to duck to prevent branches from knocking us into the water.  It is called the “flooded forest” because during the rainy season the water level rises so high that all but the tops of the tallest trees are beneath the water.  During the dry season, the branches we were avoiding would be fifty feet in the air.  


One of the guides reached in the water and pulled out a baby crocodile.  It was only two and a half feet long but I got to hold it.  The guide showed us the double eyelids of the reptile.  The inner eyelid was clear so that it could see underwater.  He wanted us to touch the inner eyelid, but none of us would.  After naming the crocodile Pedro, we released him back into the wild.  Now I will always have a friend in the Amazon jungle.




 


Jungle Rehab




This sign talks about how animals that belong in the jungle are found in the city and brought to the Jungle Lodge.  Then they are kept in a cage until they get used to the jungle again.  After 90 days, they move back into the jungle.





 


The End



In going to the Amazon, I’ve lived one of my life’s dreams.  I want to live on the outer limits of what is possible.  Only after I returned did I begin to realize that what I was recording was a dying way of life.  The return boat trip to the four-star hotel allowed us to see at least four other ‘jungle hotels’ in the area, and more under construction.  Soon they will all be bumping into each other and waiving, like bus drivers on I-95.  And to think I helped make that possible.