12 things to do before Passover

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info@chabaddowntown.com

Having trouble viewing this email? View it online Passover begins on Friday, April 3rd Dear Christine, As we approach the holiday of Pesach, we think of all the laws, customs and traditions associated with the holiday, and what this holiday represents to us personally and as a People. Please join us at our annual communal seders this Friday night and Saturday night, and take advantage of our Passover-related services and events. Click here to access our Passover Webpage. You can find more information about the holiday below. 1. Clean Your House Clean your home so it won't have any chametz in it before Passover. Passover Cleaning Guide 2. Search Search the house with a candle on Thursday night, April 2. Then burn what you find on Friday morning. Search for Chametz Instructions 3. Buy and Sell Sell any chametz you want to keep for after Passover. Buy handmade shmura matzah for your seder table. Buy Matzah Sell Your Chametz 4. Make Your Seder Reservation Celebrate Passover with family and friends. Join our local communal Chabad seder. We will be hosting both first and second night seders.  Reservations required. RSVP to the Seder 5. Or Make Your Own Your seder table won't be complete without great Passover delicacies. (And don't forget the Seder Plate ingredients!) Passover Recipes 6. Give To The Poor The Haggadah begins with "Whomever is Hungry Come and Eat".  Share with others and give them the opportunity to celebrate Passover as well.  Give food to the needy.  Give charity to Chabad and we will be distributing food and money before Yom Tov. Contribute to the Passover Charity Fund  7. Know What To Expect At The Seder Learn the ins and outs of the seder night and have the children practice the four questions. Seder in a Nutshell Full Seder Guide Mah Nishtanah Trainer Candle Lighting Times for Passover 8. Involve the Kids Kids are the highlight of the seder. Help them get ready with games, videos and crafts. Passover Kids Site 9. Brush Up on Passover Review the basics of the meaning and rituals of Passover. About Passover 10. Be Inspired Watch a talk from the Rebbe about Passover. Be sure to share the inspiration with others. Watch Video More Passover Videos 11. Send Passover Greeting Cards Share your warm wishes for a Happy and Liberating Pesach with family and friends. Passover Cards and Invitations 12. Get liberated! In the end, don't forget that the inner message of this holiday is to attain true liberty in body and soul, allowing us to rise above our inner limitations. Rabbi Zalman & Nechama Dina Carlebach Chabad of Downtown S. Diego

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My iPhone is Possessed Part 2

Wow. My iPhone really did it this time. It dialed someone on Friday and then sent a text message that I will call them later.

I can't be the only person this is happening to.

The next step is contacting T-Mobile and Apple to ask how this is happening, I guess.

Again with Starbucks Latte

Here it is. I went back and asked for mirror the denser foam and was told that this is the way it came out. He offered to do it again but I declined, because the barista can't even tell the difference himself.

Crazy Pilots

"Crazy pilots" is a new thing. We didn't have these problems before.

We can argue about the merits of strongly locked doors to the cockpit. Obviously, locked cockpit doors would have prevented the 9-11 hijackers from succeeding. Or, they would have found another way to use a jetliner as a missile.

The locking mechanism to the cockpit is really not the issue.

Clearly, people with mental problems are being permitted to fly planes. Or rather, people with issues are not being permitted to take medicine, since pilots can't take Ritalin, Celexa, etc.

Along with the spate of violent cop incidents, the question must be: what has changed?

We are getting a different result: crazy mass-murdering pilots. What has changed in the pilot-choosing system, or the pilot-vetting system, that we are getting these results?

The stories are terrible and frightening. Flying is scary for me on a good day.

There used to be three people in the cockpit. A Navigator would be in there with the pilot and copilot. That position has been eliminated in commercial flights as unnecessary and expensive.

Maybe it's time to rethink that.

Starbucks Quality Slide

Look at this photo. The foam on top of my latte is flat.

I spend too much money for a latte to not get the fluffy milk foam I pay for.

And, yes, a person can complain and ask for another latte. But who wants to do that? Looking into the young, earnest coffee-preparer's face and complain? Can't do it.

Judge for yourself. Am I wrong? Is this how the milk foam is supposed to look?

Last night's snow squall was mesmerizing!

https://gfycat.com/UnhealthyPinkKestrel


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PETA Story From Reddit

Reddit user "fucking-hate-peta" posted his very interesting PETA story:

[–]fucking_hate_peta 

I worked in wild animal rehab for three years. For those of you who don't know, the ultimate goal of rehabbing wild animals is to get them to the point of being able to be released back into their natural environment. The point is NOT to make friends with the animals, because if they become human-friendly they'll almost certainly be killed, or become dangerous to humans. If an animal does become too human-friendly it can't be released and the only thing you can do is euthanize it or make it into a demonstration animal. We went to great lengths to make sure this didn't happen unless the animal was already non-releasable (e.g., a bird with a missing wing).

PETA members were a pain to us in two different ways. First, the less extreme members would volunteer but had no actual interest in doing any real work. They were there to demonstrate that their 'special relationship with the Great Mother Gaia' would allow them to charm any animal into their arms, as if life was somehow a f#cking Disney movie. Of course, the animals were wild and therefore having none of it, and the stupid PETA c#nts would invariably wait until they weren't being monitored, sneak into a cage, corner a damned animal (which at this point was scared shitless), and then they'd get attacked. This happened EVERY SINGLE TIME. They honestly believed that their special snowflake status would work some weird voodoo on the animal, who would then become their best friend. Instead, they'd get bit/scratched/torn up and need treatment which we could ill afford, and this after doing their best to avoid anything that smacked of actual labor.

Best part? Almost every time these dumb motherfuckers would go ballistic and blame US - yes, US - for the animal being hostile. They'd say that we "brainwashed" or "tortured" the animal, and they knew that because - ta da! - the animal would never have attacked them otherwise. We'd done something horrible to the animal, which is why it couldn't tell some random nasty human apart from a sacred PETA butt-boy. As much as we loved volunteer labor, we eventually added a question to our interview process that asked folks if they were part of PETA, and if they answered affirmatively we'd say we already had enough volunteers but we would be sure to get back to them when we had an opening.

The second kind of PETA member would try to sneak onto the property and open cages to scare the animals out. We're talking about badly injured animals, or orphans, who'd be dead in a few days, if that. Fortunately we had a couple of "attack lamas" and some very territorial dogs, and they'd always raise a ruckus when these #ssholes came around. I gotta say, it was f#cking hilarious to see some PETA dipshit running full bore, screaming, with two pissed-off lamas on his heels. Note: the lamas were generally mild-mannered, but for some reason they'd go nuts if anyone who wasn't on staff, or with staff, tried to open a cage.

Aside from seeing a PETA freak chased by lamas, my best moment was seeing a passle of PETA (three, iirc) trying to deal with a great horned owl in the hospital section of the center. The great horned owl is a large bird, and this guy was a monster for his species. They opened his cage, he objected to them trying to towel and grab him, and he flew out (not far, his wing was injured). They thought that they could talk him into calming down (PETA magic), but the owl had already decided they were #ssholes and any time they'd get near he'd spread his wings (very impressive for this guy) and shriek.

I walk into the hospital to find the owl loose and three PETA types babbling at him, they tell me they "don't need help". Sure you don't, which is why the owl is loose, flying around on an injured wing, and screeching - which is something they only do when they're really distressed. So, I hold out my arm, wait until the owl is focused on me, and say "here". The owl takes off and lands on my arm, careful not to tear it to shreds with his massive claws as I'm not wearing a glove. Great horned owls are bloody smart birds. PETA pricks are speechless, then become almost savagely angry - the jealousy is obvious, as a worthless meat-eating 'prole' has somehow managed to outdo them in the space of a few seconds. I'm senior on staff, so I order them out of the hospital, telling them I'm going to cover the rest of their shift. They object, I tell them to get the hell out or face the consequences with the center owner, and they finally leave.

What they didn't know is that when I was young I worked on farms and was a bona fide animal charmer. Only kids are real animal charmers - it wears off once you hit puberty - but I still had some of the mojo. Because of this, the animals at the center were much calmer and far more cooperative with me than anyone else. When the owl came in he took an instant liking to me, so I'd let him out of his cage will I did hospital rounds, sitting on my arm or shoulder. He was always very careful not to turn my body into hamburger with his claws and grateful to get out of the cage to stretch his wings for a bit, so it worked out very well all around. When the owl saw me he instantly took up his usual place because we'd done this before and he most likely saw me as a protector against the crazed PETA predators who were trying to eat him.

The three I kicked out were tossed from the volunteer program. They went and complained to the owner of the center, who told them to get lost and never come back. That was the final straw in terms of us deciding to reject any volunteer who was affiliated with PETA (i.e., they chased an injured animal around the hospital rather than get help as they were trained to do, lengthening his recovery time and putting him in danger of sustaining even worse injuries).

I hate PETA. I will always hate PETA. I eat meat and own pets, and I've done more for wildlife and the environment than any ten PETA tw#ts put together. F#ck the lot of these eco-terrorists.

Gypsy on the Red Line

Was suitably entertained by a young man playing an accordion on the Res Line this morning.

His mother was with him, and when she started reminding him of something, he started playing.

Then the mother went around with a cup asking for money.

Made the ride in today somewhat interesting. Didn't give them money though.

The Interview on Netflix - "They Hate Us, Because They Ain't Us-

Congratulations to the Sony hackers for making this movie more interesting than it otherwise would be. So I spent the entire movie trying to figure out what made Kim Jong-Un so mad.  Truthfully, the character that played the North Korean leader reminded me of a supervisor from long ago.  I mean, a lot.

For those who need a refresher, Kim Jong-Un, the real one, executed his ex-girlfriend for making porno, executed his uncle in a power struggle and supposedly embarrassed Sony executives because he didn't want this movie shown.  Read an earlier post on that.  Still, it made watching the movie that much more fun.

Many have panned The Interview, but they are all wrong.  It is funny and satirical.

The premise of the movie is that Kim Jong-Un, the deadly leader of North Korea, agrees to an interview with a television show on the level of Entertainment Tonight.  The host of that show is dumb, but with an instinct for pulling juicy tidbits from his guests.  The producer of the show is the brains, but feeling insecure because friends from school are doing "serious news."

The parallels to Dennis Rodman can't be ignored.  But I am not in favor of slamming on Dennis Rodman, after all, somebody has to be talking to the leader of North Korea, and right now he is it.  And given Kim Jong-Un's history with those close to him, it is no joke to think Mr. Rodman is taking his life in his hands with his diplomatic endeavors.

The pair are roundly mocked by media personalities for securing the interview with Kim Jong-Un.  That's where "They hate us, because they ain't us" is shouted a while, with some jumping around.  It has to be the take-away quote of the movie.

So the CIA gets them to agree to kill Kim Jong-Un, and hilarity ensues.  Kind of.  Some gross, disgusting, are-you-guys-in-eighth-grade humor, and the film drags a little towards the end, maybe because things blowing up and gun battles are what I call boring.  It's a good movie and you should watch it.

The other money quote: "You Americans keep making the same mistake."  Think on it.

I won't give away the ending - but it's a real finger-biter.  

Broadchurch on Netflix

A really great detective series, even though it relies on old tropes like the seriously ill detective who is trying to redeem himself through the case investigation.

Even so, the story was so captivating, and unpredictable, it is one of those series that you will want to watch in a marathon.

It starts out like a commercial for small-town living: everyone says hello, is friendly, knows each other.  Then a thoroughly shocking event, the dead body of a boy found on the beach, disrupts relationships and trust.  And I guess the friendliness as well.

The female detective, Ellie Miller, a local, makes a transition from nice neighbor lady to a real detective with resistance and fight.  It's fun to watch her struggle between being a community member and looking at unpalatable information about people she knows, and then pursuing it.

The child actor who plays Tom Miller is superb.  His small expressions were so efficient and communicative.  That boy has a future in acting.

The ending is very surprising, but still ties into the whole story.

This show must be seen by all detective and mystery fans.  It is not going on a limb to say that Broadchurch is one of the best shows in this genre that I have ever seen.