Koalas are the worst animal. Let me tell you why.
1) They eat almost exclusively eucalyptus leaves. Because they are ill equipped to digest these leaves (which are already low in nutrients), koalas have to eat a ton of them. Their lives are almost all sleeping(digesting) or eating or shitting.
2) Speaking of shitting, baby koalas eat the poop of adult koalas. Because as bad as the adult is at digesting these awful leaves, the babies are even worse. So the only way they can get anything out of them at all is to have them pre-digested.
3) Koalas are incredibly stupid. They have the smallest brain to body size ratio of any mammal. Their stupidity can be seen easily by taking a few of those terrible leaves they love and putting them on a plate. The koala will not eat them because it is too stupid to realize they can still be food if they're not attached to a tree.
4) They sound like demons. See https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8oLu7znwQ0.
5) That eucalyptus plant, in addition to being a terrible food, also makes them high. All the time. Like, there is probably not a single moment of a koala's life that its already incredibly stupid brain is not in the grip of this drug masquerading as food.*
6) Most of them have chlamydia. Not like, some special koala version of the disease. Just regular chlamydia which they can give to humans. And thanks to the disease they are always pissing themselves.
So there you go. They're shit eating retard demons with STDs and a drug problem.
*edit: its been pointed out that #5 is a myth and their behavior is just due to the low nutrition of the leaves. Thanks disgruntledpenguins
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Volcanic Lightning in Southern Chile
Space Weather News for April 23, 2015
The Calbuco volcano in southern Chile erupted yesterday. Two blasts in 24 hours on April 22nd sent plumes of ash and sulfurous gas shooting at least 33,000 feet high. One of the eruptions occured at night and put on a spectacular display of rare and mysterious volcanic lightning. Visit http://spaceweather.com for a picture of the lightning and a discussion of its underlying physics.
And one of the ways to judge my popularity is Facebook. My defunct law firm has its own Facebook page for you to like, at your leisure.
However, someone in South America is adding Axsmith Law LLC to all their family BBQ photos.
I don't know who this is, but should I care? It's kind of fun to see if maybe I recognize anyone. There has to be some connection to me, right? If it happened only once, it could be explained away by a simple mistake. How, I don't know. How do you accidentally add an American law firm to your Aunt Petunia's birthday cook out? From another continent? If I ever see Mark Zuckerburg, I will ask him.
But this has happened many times now. Several times a week, in fact.
Good news: my law firms Facebook page is active. So active, it has a life of its own. And sadly, a life that looks far more interesting than mine.
I think I'll keep it.
Subject: Incoming: Meteors and a CME
Space Weather News for April 20, 2015
High-latitude sky watchers should be alert for auroras this week when a solar wind stream and a faint CME are expected to hit Earth's magnetic field in quick succession. NOAA forecasters estimate a 45% to 65% chance of polar geomagnetic storms on April 21-22.
At the same time, Earth will be passing through a stream of debris from Comet Thatcher, source of the annual Lyrid meteor shower. Sky watchers are already seeing a smattering of late-night fireballs as Earth approaches the diffuse core of the debris stream. Meteor rates are expected to crest on April 22-23 with as many as 20 Lyrids per hour.
Visit http://spaceweather.com for updates and observing tips.
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GLOVER PARK VILLAGE, INC. (Golden Glovers)
You're Invited to a New Program
Introduction to Drawing
Bringing Out Your Inner ArtistWith Paul Spreiregen
Date: Wednesday, April 29 Time: 6:30 to 8:30 p.m. Place: Glover Park Community Center at Stoddert School 4001 Calvert Street NW
Paul Spreiregen is an architect, planner, and longtime resident of Glover Park who started drawing as a child and never stopped. He believes that everyone can draw, and far better than they realize. Learn the basics of charcoal drawing from Paul in the first of a series of free art programs at Glover Park Community Center, a venue that he helped develop.
This program is for you if you want to draw but feel as if you can't make a straight line. Paul will demonstrate drawing showing fundamental approaches and then you'll have a chance to draw a simple subject. We'll provide materials; all you need to bring is a desire to draw.
Please RSVP by April 27 by calling 202-436-5545 or writing to Events@GloverParkVillage.org so that we know how many art supplies to buy.
Information will be available at the event about Glover Park Village, a volunteer-managed 501(c)(3) nonprofit supporting aging in community and fostering intergenerational relationships and supported by community donations. We welcome new volunteers!
Glover Park Village Serves You Glover Park Village is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit promoting aging in community and fostering intergenerational relationships.
If you need services or want to volunteer for our organization, call 202-436-5545 or e-mail Info@GloverParkVillage.org. New volunteers are welcome and particularly needed to provide transportation.
For information on events, write to Events@GloverParkVillage.org.
Find us on Facebook. Visit our website.
Glover Park Village is entirely supported by donations. Support Glover Park Village by designating us through the Combined Federal Campaign (CFC). Our CFC number is 18447.
Glover Park Village| 202-436-5545 | Info@GloverParkVillage.org | Facebook.com/GloverParkVillage
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12 things to do before Passover
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Passover begins on Friday, April 3rd
As we approach the holiday of Pesach, we think of all the laws, customs and traditions associated with the holiday, and what this holiday represents to us personally and as a People.
Please join us at our annual communal seders this Friday night and Saturday night, and take advantage of our Passover-related services and events. Click here to access our Passover Webpage.
You can find more information about the holiday below.
1. Clean Your House
Clean your home so it won't have any chametz in it before Passover. Passover Cleaning Guide
Search the house with a candle on Thursday night, April 2. Then burn what you find on Friday morning. Search for Chametz Instructions
3. Buy and Sell
4. Make Your Seder Reservation
Celebrate Passover with family and friends. Join our local communal Chabad seder.
We will be hosting both first and second night seders. Reservations required.
RSVP to the Seder
5. Or Make Your Own
Your seder table won't be complete without great Passover delicacies. (And don't forget the Seder Plate ingredients!) Passover Recipes
6. Give To The Poor
The Haggadah begins with "Whomever is Hungry Come and Eat". Share with others and give them the opportunity to celebrate Passover as well. Give food to the needy. Give charity to Chabad and we will be distributing food and money before Yom Tov. Contribute to the Passover Charity Fund
7. Know What To Expect At The Seder
8. Involve the Kids
Kids are the highlight of the seder. Help them get ready with games, videos and crafts. Passover Kids Site
9. Brush Up on Passover
Review the basics of the meaning and rituals of Passover. About Passover
10. Be Inspired
11. Send Passover Greeting Cards
Share your warm wishes for a Happy and Liberating Pesach with family and friends. Passover Cards and Invitations
12. Get liberated!
In the end, don't forget that the inner message of this holiday is to attain true liberty in body and soul, allowing us to rise above our inner limitations.
Rabbi Zalman & Nechama Dina Carlebach
Chabad of Downtown S. Diego
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