7.28.2009

Sarah Palin Farewell Speech Interpreted by William Shatner

Here is the video of William Shatner interpreting Sarah Palin's farewell speech as poetry. Damn if it isn't good! Maybe she is a genius poet in disguise.

7.27.2009

Michael Vick: It's Not About Being Sorry

I am sure Michael Vick is sorry about running that dog fighting operation. Or getting caught at least.

Michael Vick was reinstated into the NFL today after being released from prison for running a dog fighting ring.

The NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell is looking for "signs of contrition" from the NFL sociopath before letting him play in NFL games. Note to the Commissioner: sociopaths are known to fake contrition. Just letting you know.

When is there a such thing as going to far, no matter how much you regret it later? When you electrocute innocent dogs because they weren't aggressive enough in fighting. Which means they had more humanity than you did, Michael Vick.

I am making a personal commitment to my readers: if Michael Vick shows up in DC to play football I am going to raise a stink. I don't know how yet, but it will probably involve a lot of yelling and maybe throwing eggs.

Building Prisons for Monkeys in India

Don't laugh until you have had your lunch stolen by a monkey.

I had a few run-ins with monkeys in the Amazon and, while it looks funny happening to someone else, when your food is stolen by a monkey WHO IS LAUGHING AND WAIVING YOUR FOOD AT YOU WHILE HANGING FROM A TREE, it can ruin your day.

Now imagine that you are an Indian villager who doesn't have loads of affordable food on every corner. Imagine you are a child who has to walk by these nattering, chattering pests to get to the water well and bring home water for the household. It is intimidating. The monkeys will try to take the water away from the child.

I hesitate to recommend monkey jail as a solution, however, simply because humans have yet to create a jail that rehabilitates. And what if a monkey does something really bad? Are we going to have "lifers" in monkey jail? What about the hardened monkey criminal?

What is going to happen (and this is a prediction here) is that the behaviors of the monkeys are going to follow the group dynamics in prisons, which are just a reflection of the jailers themselves.

May I suggest instead that reforestation be used as a solution? Then the monkeys won't be in our habitat and will stay in their own. I hope.

When I went to India I was told about monkeys who moved into the Parliament building over a hundred years ago, and that same family of monkeys is still there. It sounds cute until you hear how they throw things at the people in the lobby, so you have to keep an eye out and duck from time to time.

Come to think of it, monkeys in the Rayburn Building does sound like fun.

7.02.2009

Swine Flu Rampant in Rochester NY

Media reports are sparse, but there is a big N1H1 Flu virus outbreak in Rochester NY area.

Odd that no one would be reporting on it. My sister and her entire family has it, or has had it in the last few weeks.

I would think that a Swine Flu outbreak would be newsworthy.