Guide to a Perfect Garden

I noted that several neighbors in my Columbia Heights neighborhood had amazingly bright, large flowers in their yards. These flowers were flawless. They never dimmed, rotted or fell over. Through unexpected frosts, hail storms and evil winds, the flowers exhibited the same level of charm and beauty.

They were also plastic. Yes, that's right. People bought plastic flowers and planted them along their walkways and in their gardens. One person has even glued large fake roses to his rose bush.

I'm all in favor of efficiency, but we need to think of the poor little bees that also need to eat.

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