ContraPoints is a YouTuber philosopher who, as a transgender person, has introduced me to gender issues. I didn’t even know some of these things existed.
Her latest video on Shame really describes her sexual identity journey from transhetero to transhomo. Shame about her sexual identity really skewed her romantic choices. Wow. So powerful.
Even though I am just plain heterosexual, her description of her relationship with her last boyfriend and her best friend mirrors mine with my husband.
Justin and I had a very intense friendship. We just couldn’t stay away from one another. We dated a few months in 1992, and after that we were either inseparable or fighting. People thought we were divorced.
Justin was always a factor in every romantic relationship after I met him. Every boyfriend knew about him because I talked and worried about him all the time. Some of them hated him. Others dismissed him. But he was always there.
He set up my dating profile on Match.com for me, and when I went to meet a guy he went with me, lurking in the background to make sure I was safe.
I started to realize I was in love with him while being dragged into one of his rescue missions to clean out one of his friend’s apartments of clutter to prevent eviction. Oh God, you would not believe the level of clutter. It took eight hours to clear a path from the back porch door to the dining room. We actually smelled old air. You wouldn’t think there was such a thing, but there is. We saw detergent boxes from the 1980s. We found a color tv and a full, formal place setting under the trash on the dining table.
It was emotionally draining work. I realized that I would rather be doing this with Justin, than spending time with my actual boyfriend, who was sweet to me. Then I realized this was always the case. I would always rather be with Justin than doing anything with somebody else. He always made me feel better. He really hurt my feelings sometimes, and when he did, it devastated me. I also hurt him a lot out of selfishness and thoughtlessness. But somehow we were tied to each other as ostensible friends for ten years.
When I got sick, he came over to make me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and keep me company. You know, I really want to be with a guy that takes care of me when I am sick, I told a friend. I need to marry someone like Justin, I said. When I moved because I sold my condo but the deal to buy another one fell through and I had nowhere to live, Justin helped me pack my things and gave me a place to stay for a while.
For some reason, when it was time to go to my sister’s wedding, I just had to go with Justin, not my boyfriend. Justin didn’t really understand it, but I insisted. It was there that I realized Justin was the love of my life. We got engaged a few weeks later, and married later on that year. It was the best thing I have ever done in my life.
Her latest video on Shame really describes her sexual identity journey from transhetero to transhomo. Shame about her sexual identity really skewed her romantic choices. Wow. So powerful.
Even though I am just plain heterosexual, her description of her relationship with her last boyfriend and her best friend mirrors mine with my husband.
Justin and I had a very intense friendship. We just couldn’t stay away from one another. We dated a few months in 1992, and after that we were either inseparable or fighting. People thought we were divorced.
Justin was always a factor in every romantic relationship after I met him. Every boyfriend knew about him because I talked and worried about him all the time. Some of them hated him. Others dismissed him. But he was always there.
He set up my dating profile on Match.com for me, and when I went to meet a guy he went with me, lurking in the background to make sure I was safe.
I started to realize I was in love with him while being dragged into one of his rescue missions to clean out one of his friend’s apartments of clutter to prevent eviction. Oh God, you would not believe the level of clutter. It took eight hours to clear a path from the back porch door to the dining room. We actually smelled old air. You wouldn’t think there was such a thing, but there is. We saw detergent boxes from the 1980s. We found a color tv and a full, formal place setting under the trash on the dining table.
It was emotionally draining work. I realized that I would rather be doing this with Justin, than spending time with my actual boyfriend, who was sweet to me. Then I realized this was always the case. I would always rather be with Justin than doing anything with somebody else. He always made me feel better. He really hurt my feelings sometimes, and when he did, it devastated me. I also hurt him a lot out of selfishness and thoughtlessness. But somehow we were tied to each other as ostensible friends for ten years.
When I got sick, he came over to make me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and keep me company. You know, I really want to be with a guy that takes care of me when I am sick, I told a friend. I need to marry someone like Justin, I said. When I moved because I sold my condo but the deal to buy another one fell through and I had nowhere to live, Justin helped me pack my things and gave me a place to stay for a while.
For some reason, when it was time to go to my sister’s wedding, I just had to go with Justin, not my boyfriend. Justin didn’t really understand it, but I insisted. It was there that I realized Justin was the love of my life. We got engaged a few weeks later, and married later on that year. It was the best thing I have ever done in my life.
No comments:
Post a Comment