12.21.2011

Epic Rap Battles of History: Justin Bieber vs. Beethoven



Look what the cat dragged
back from the dead.
Man, it looks like Chewbacca
wiped his ass on your head.
I'm the next Michael Jackson,
you smell like Bette White.
Here's some aspirin,
you're catching Bieber fever tonight.
Because my voice is incredible
and your music is terrible,
who even listens to classical anyway?
Even Elise wants to do me
and now that you're right next to me
I can understand why they used a dog to play you in the movies.

Sit down, son
and let me give you a music lesson
ask Bach,
I've got more cock than Smith & Wesson.
Never say never?
You'll never be forgetting
I've crafted masterpieces
that will last throughout the ages
You're music gets you bitches
on your Facebook pages.
I'm committing verbal murder
in the major third degree
My name is Beethoven motherfucker
maybe you heard of me?
Not the St. Bernard version,
I'm the real OG.
You want to trade blows?
You can't even hit puberty.

I got Kim Kardashian
in my bed backstage.
When's the last time your music
got anybody laid?
I got a concert in five
so there's not much time left.
What else can I say?
You're own music made you deaf.

I would smack you
but in Germany
we don't hit little girls.
And I'm glad I'm deaf
so I can't hear that piece of shit
"My World."
There's a crowd of millions
waiting to hear my symphonies,
You want to be a little white Usher,
Here, show them to their seats.

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