The Paris Hilton Index

It's nice to know that not just Americans are pathetic celebrity watchers.

Pravda, yes that Pravda, has her return to jail at the top of the page with a photo of her wearing very little. This being just days from Russia threatening to turn Europe into a pancake. You'd think people missing their old Cold War charms would have something more serious to talk about. But then, look at me. I'm writing about this stuff.

The Frankfurter Allegemeine at least puts Paris Hilton stories right next to George Michael ones, and a little bit above how handwriting has gone downhill since computers. Now that shows a proper sense of perspective. But only Germans would worry about the quality of their national handwriting.

The Belfast Telegraph puts the news of Paris Hilton's jail experiences right after Putin's latest insult to Tony Blair. Let me see, so Putin allegedly orders the killing of a person on British soil and won't give up the guy indicted for the crime. Russia and Britain are in a major struggle about this, and Britain is threatening to cut all business ties with Russia "if they don't conform to international standards." This is a big deal. And right next to that is Paris Hilton! Because if you want to know about impending economic war in Europe, you will definitely want to know what Paris Hilton is doing RIGHT THIS MINUTE.

The Sydney Morning Herald has Ms. Hilton at the top of its video news on its front page. At least they title it "Paris Hilton Media Circus" and outright admit that what is important is not where she is or what she is doing, but that so many idiot news outlets consider any of that important. A little ironic reflection is needed, perhaps, since all they post is a straight Reuters film clip.

The Lithuanian ELTA ignores our poor Paris, but is excited that Playboy will now be published in Lithuanian.

All in all, poor Paris might be regretting her notoriety right now.


Firminator said...
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Firminator said...
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The Lazy Iguana said...

News about Paris Hilton is less depressing than Bush trying to provoke the Russians into another arms race.