9.26.2008

More Sex Tips for the Young Woman

Friends with benefits = Used like toilet paper

This whole "hooking up" thing is really bad for you. What are you, a blow-up love doll? With no feelings?

You need to spend quality time alone with a guy or gal before deciding that you want to be intimate with them. That way you don't find out what an asshole they are after the fact. (Yes, most of my post refers to heterosexual pairings, it's all I know. But the principles apply to all young women.)

Your potential mate needs to show he's a good catch by:
Calling when he says he's going to call.
Showing up when he says he's going to show up.
Doing what he says he's going to do.
Taking care of you when you are sick.
Caressing and adoring you.
Singling you out to spend time alone with you, not with you and Spanky and the Gang, but alone with you.
Bragging about you and your accomplishments to his friends.
AND HE NEEDS TO ACT THIS WAY OVER A PROLONGED PERIOD OF TIME - MONTHS.

The marketplace rules on this one. You are the supply and he is the demand. Don't just hand out your goodies. Make him work for it.

Think of it this way:

One egg a month - millions of sperm a month.

Those damn sperm are competing and competing for that egg of yours. Even if conception is not the goal, it is the driving force behind the desire for sex. You look at a potential partner and think: "he make good baby." He thinks the same about you.

Relevant old wives tales:
Look at his shoes, if they are not nice and clean it shows that he is not a person of substance but only puts his efforts into appearances.
How he treats the waitress is how he's going to treat you in ten years.
Stingy with the wallet means stingy in bed. Generosity is not about money. It's about time and consideration.
Masturbate before a date if you really think you might jump in the sack too soon.
Don't commit for a few months.
Try to wait six months before intercourse. That's a tough one. You probably won't get there, but try.
Men aren't the only ones who think between their legs. You do, too.

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